True to My Heart Page 2

  She takes the things that I give her and goes into the bathroom. Eliza shuts the door behind her while I turn my back and find something suitable for myself to wear.

  I hear a tap on my bedroom door. I know that it’s not any of the help.

  “Yes, Mother.” I am folding my clothing and putting them on the edge of the bed.

  She opens the door. Her red hair is shimmering and glossy. I like the red dress that she's wearing with heels. I fight back the urge to roll my eyes at her.

  “I want to make sure that you’re ready,” my mother tells me as we hear the bathroom door open.

  “We are ready,” I correct her.

  My mother doesn’t know what to say when she sees Eliza in the dress that I let her borrow. Neither do I. She looks gorgeous.

  “You never told me that you were going to have company.” My mother’s eyes shoot up.

  "Ms. Keller, it's nice to meet you." Eliza sucks in her breath.

  Eliza is not prepared for this meeting either.

  "I hope that you have a good night at the party. You. Don't be drink too much." Mother points a finger at me before she turns and walks back out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

  Though Eliza and I have been friends for years, Mother doesn't know her. It's the first time my mother noticed Eliza.

  My mother has heard about Eliza. However, it seems like my mother has been in her own little world, along with my father.

  Chapter Four

  “I don’t think your mother wants me here.” She bites down on her lip.

  “If she didn’t want you here, she would’ve said so. She isn’t the type to hold back.” I laugh at her, though I do take another look at her.

  Only if she were into women, I would have her already. I don't push it on her, never have because she's always been with men. Maybe that’s the only reason that I didn’t. Besides, maybe I like the fact that she’s pure and innocent when it comes to being with a woman.

  “What are you looking at?” Eliza asks me.

  "Nothing." I blush and turn away from her so that I can gather my own clothing.

  It’s a beautiful white dress that has diamonds on the neckline—real diamonds and not the jewels that you glue on.

  Carrying my things to the bathroom, I close the door quickly, leaning against it and closing my eyes. If she were to know, would she still be my best friend? Or would she think that it was gross? Did she catch me looking at her like I wanted to suck her soul out of her hole?

  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. There are so many questions going through my head. Like, am I doing this for her, or me?

  I want Eliza to see that she doesn't have to be caught up in a man. She doesn't need a man. I want Eliza to want and need me.

  “Are you okay in there?” I hear her voice from the other side of the door, and it makes me jump.

  "Yes, I'm going to take a shower and be right out," I tell her in a steady voice.

  "Okay, I'm going to go to my room," Eliza states. I hear her walk out of my bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

  I get undressed quickly and look at my body. I'm not skinny. I do have curves, unlike my mother. My breasts are firm. They are big, but not too big. I look down between my legs and see that my clit is swelling. It always sticks out between my lips. That's one thing that I don't like about myself. A big flaw that I see.

  Eliza always thinks that I'm perfect, but I'm not.

  I look at my backside and see the scars on my ass cheeks. The scars on my lower back. If Eliza saw these, would she be disgusted by them? I turn away. I hate looking at the scars. It's something I don't talk about.

  Not even to Eliza. We are best friends, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have my own secrets. I haven’t even told my mother about them.

  Maybe that’s why my father had given the mansion to me as well in the divorce. He should feel guilty for what he’s done. There’s no doubt about that.

  They don’t hurt anymore, but that doesn’t mean the memory isn’t still embedded in my mind as if it just happened yesterday.

  I feel the tears welling up in my eyes and push them away as I head for the shower and adjust the water. I wash quickly, knowing that Mother is going to expect me downstairs soon.

  It seems that even the famous Ms. Keller needs reassurance that everything is going to work out. That things are going to go as planned.

  We don’t have the greatest bond, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not here for her when she needs me.

  Most of her trips are away from home for business, and I don't see her. I do know that if I wanted to call her up and vent to her, she would make the time for me. I just don't. She has enough going on, and I'm twenty-five years old. There's no reason why I need my mommy by my side all the time.

  When it comes to venting about my life, I have no one to go to. At least that’s how I feel. I know that Eliza would lend a listening ear, but I don’t want to burden her.

  I have a hard time keeping the urge to myself. I want to take Eliza into my arms and hold her tightly to me. I want to take away all her pain and show her that love can be a good thing.

  Getting dressed, the white collar shows off my cleavage. I look down the dress, and my legs are nicely tanned, smooth. My hair, I don't let anyone touch my hair.

  I towel dry it and run a hair straightener through it. I love the silk feeling that I get when I run my hands through it.

  "Time to shine," I tell myself, giving the best smile that I can in the mirror.

  It's the smile that shows the camera that there's nothing wrong with the Keller family, and it works every time. God forbid the real world knows about our drama.

  Sometimes I wish that my life weren't portrayed as perfect. That everyone on the outside could see that we may have money, a beautiful place and we're famous. But, it doesn't come without cost.

  You should’ve seen the tabloids when my parents got divorced. We laughed about them, the media coming up with their own stories because we wouldn’t give them anything to go back to the public with.

  “Stephanie!” I hear my mother’s booming voice.

  "I'm coming!" I shout back at her, opening the bathroom door and seeing her standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

  “You look beautiful.” My mother smiles at me.

  I can say that I get my facial look from my mother. However, when it comes to the hair and the eyes. I get them from my father. It could be the reason why my mother doesn’t see me often.

  Chapter Five

  Eliza comes out of her room when she hears the hollering. I grin at her, rolling my eyes about how dramatic my mother can be.

  “That’s why I’m the actress in the family.” My mother looks at the two of us and laughs.

  I don't think that I've heard her laugh really, not a real one. It takes me off guard.

  "You are so ready for tonight, Mother. If you laugh like that, you're going to win them over. All of them." I hug her.

  It feels good to hug her. My mother stiffens in my arms, and the smile slowly fades from my face. In my family, we don't embrace a lot.

  “Make sure you don’t do that at the party tonight,” she whispers against my ear as I let go of her.

  Of course not. I wouldn’t want anyone to know that we could be a loving family. Not in front of the camera. The words that she’s spoken cuts like a knife. Now I want to take the hug back that I’ve given to her.

  We are nothing alike. I like to show my emotions while my mother likes to hide them and only use them on the stage. On the camera.

  I don't know how many times people tell me what a great actress she is and how lucky I am to have a mother like Ms. Keller. But, if they could have one day in my shoes, they would see that it wasn't as special as they thought.

  “Come on, dear. We have to make sure that everything is perfect.” My mother claps her hands together and slowly takes the steps down the stairs.

  My mother is wearing a yellow dress that shows off her young body. I
wonder how many surgeries she's had to go through. How much pain that she's had to go through to keep her actress figure.

  “This is the life that your mother leads.” Betty looks at the pained expression on my face before we enter the ballroom.

  I nod my head. If anyone knows my facial expressions, it's Betty. Mother doesn’t hear her, or she chooses not to. Walking into the ballroom, I hear Eliza gasp.

  There are long tables on one side of the room. There is enough space to dance and mingle for at least a thousand guests. The sun shines off the chandlers hanging from the high ceilings. There are pictures of my mother on the wall in some of the movies that she's started in. I wonder how long it's taken her to choose which ones would be best.

  “Is Father coming tonight?” I ask her, clearing my throat.

  “You know that he’ll be here,” she sighs, giving me a look as if I knew better than to ask her in front of guests.

  I don't play her game. I shrug one shoulder and continue walking through the ballroom. I can see into the kitchen because I know it's there. There will be a velvet curtain up. I'm sure before the guests arrive.

  "It's good, Mother. There's nothing the matter with it." I can see that the caterers and the wait staff are just waiting in the wings to be called.

  “Good? It’s better than good,” Eliza tells me, a look of shock comes over her face because I’m not as impressed as she is.

  "If you grew up like this, you wouldn't be so impressed." I roll my eyes at her.

  I can see the flush coming to her face. I know how harsh I was with her.

  "I'm sorry," I whisper to her.

  "It's okay. I just think that everything is beautiful." Eliza looks at me.

  I can see how happy she is. Her blue eyes are shining. That's when I know that bringing her here wasn't a mistake.

  It's been a long time since I've seen that look on her face. And it's not because of a man. I am proud of her.

  I go to her hug her. She doesn't flinch, nor does she stiffen as my mother does. She hugs me back, and I feel a spark. I wonder if she feels it too.

  “So, you think that everything is going to go smoothly?” my mother asks.

  "I think that things are going to be wonderful, Ms. Keller," Eliza tells her without thinking about answering.

  “Yes, Mother. Other than what happens when you and Father drink. I would lay off the champagne tonight,” I warn her.

  “He’s already said that he’s not drinking tonight,” she shoots back at me.

  I have heard that before. I don't understand why my mother thinks that my father has changed. I know that he hasn't because of the times that he's called in the recent past to see how things are going.

  One of the reasons that they got divorced was because he couldn’t stop lying. He couldn’t stop drinking. Everyone has their habits. I wish that my father had picked up smoking cigarettes instead. I'd rather smell the smoke than alcohol on his breath.

  "Please, be nice. It's not often that you see your father. You can handle it for one night." She raises one of her eyebrows. It’s the same way she used to when I was younger. I give her a soft smile.

  “That’s my girl.” She grins at me and heads out of the ballroom.

  "I wish that I could have all this growing up," Eliza whispers to me.

  "No, you don't," I tell her firmly.

  Betty comes into the room. I can see that she has a mop bucket and a freshly cleaned mop.

  “You don’t have to do that.” I shake my head at her.

  "Ms. Keller said yes," Betty responds softly.

  "It's clean. I can see my face off it. Put it back. If my mother says anything, tell her to come to me." I see the shocked look on her face.

  It’s telling me that I don’t have the right to say what she’s to do and what she’s not to do.

  “I live here too now. I’m home to stay for a while. She’s never here.” I can read her like a book, and she nods her head.

  Turning away with the mop bucket and broom, she leaves the ballroom.

  Chapter Six

  We head back upstairs. I’m not about to leave Eliza with my mother so that she can make Eliza feel as if it’s a privilege to be here. Sometimes that’s how I feel, and I can see that my mother would do the same thing to Eliza. A new victim in her eyes.

  “You’re doing well. Tonight, there are going to be all sorts of men here. Maybe you might click with one.” I giggle as we walk into her room.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m not from this clique,” Eliza tells me.

  "The best attitude to have is a positive one. It's the confidence that makes you shine." I give her a small tip.

  "I do feel better here than at the old place," Eliza tells me, letting me know that being with me is helping her.

  I want to help her in many ways. I want to show her how good it can be.

  ***

  A few hours later, Betty comes to the bedroom, hearing us laughing. She can't help but smile herself.

  “You two sound like teenagers in here. I remember when you used to have your girlfriends at the house. I miss the sound,” Betty tells me.

  “Me too.” I feel lighthearted.

  “Your mother wants you downstairs. Guests are starting to arrive, and I know that she wants to show you off.” Betty clears her throat.

  The stern look comes over her face again.

  "Showtime," I grumble, getting off Eliza's new bed and heading for the door.

  "Come on. I'm not going down there alone," I call over to her when she doesn't make a move to leave the bed.

  "I have to warn you that your father is here too." Betty doesn't want to tell me. It's a struggle for her.

  “Did my mother have you tell me?” I ask her.

  “No, I just thought that you might want to be prepared for that one.” Betty gives me a sorrowful look.

  “Thank you.” I nod my head and watch her disappear.

  “I don’t know if I should go down there.” Eliza shakes her head back and forth.

  She's nervous, and I get it. I used to be.

  “Nothing’s going to happen. I’m going to be right there with you.” I assure her and hold out my hand for her.

  We link arms as we head down the hallway, hearing the voices and laughter echoing up the stairs from the ballroom.

  That’s the only thing I don’t like living in a big place. All the voices echo whether you want them to or not.

  When we hit the doorway, my mother automatically takes my hand. My link with Eliza is broken while my mother stands there.

  I look over my shoulder and give her an apologetic look. Eliza smiles and gives me a wave. Erica is telling me that she's going to be just fine.

  “You can’t just drag me away as if I’m some trophy that you’ve won, Mother!” I hiss at her.

  “Ms. Keller!” We hear a man calling from three tables away.

  As he gets closer to us, we see that he has a camera dangling from his neck.

  "Smile," she tells me through clenched teeth.

  "This is your daughter?" he asks her.

  “It is. This is Stephanie Keller. She hides herself away.” My mother laughs. He laughs with her, but it sounds forced.

  We smile for the camera, and he leaves us.

  "You know that's going to be on the front page," my mother tells me.

  I don’t answer her. I don’t even like reading the paper. I don’t care if we’re on the front page or the back page.

  "Stephanie." I hear my name called.

  Mother lets go of me because someone is asking her to take the stage through the microphone.

  It’s my father. He has a young lady on his arm. Almost as young as me. I don’t see how he could bring a bimbo to the party and think that it’s okay. I’m sure he does it just to aggravate Mother.

  “Father.” I hug him to me and kiss him on the cheek before I pull away.

  He tries to introduce me to the woman on his arm. But, I rudely walk away, letting him kno
w that this is only for show. Mother isn’t the only actress in the family when she needs to be.

  "Sorry that I left you like that," I tell Eliza once I find her.

  “It’s okay. I can’t believe how many people are here tonight. Movie stars,” she gasps, her eyes are roaming the ballroom quickly.

  “Yes, there are a lot,” I sigh.

  “Which one is your father?” Eliza asks me.

  I scan the crowd and see that he's in front of the stage. My father is listening to my mother give her speech of how thankful she is that everyone has shown up.

  "I'll show you later. Come on, let's go into the kitchen before we're seen." I rush her out of the ballroom.

  I don’t want my mother seeing me or calling me up to be there with her. She has my father if she’s that desperate for someone in the family to fake smiles.

  “I’m glad you’re down to earth.” She grins at me.

  “Me too,” I giggle. I couldn’t see myself being like my parents if my life depended on it.

  “Alex, do you have any sweets?” I see that he’s busy filling the trays for the rest of the wait staff to go out.

  “A few,” he chuckles.

  Chapter Seven

  Alex is a big man. I think he tastes everything before he sends it out just so that no one complains.

  I see the homemade chocolates. The roses with the peanut butter in them and shove one into my mouth, giving one to Eliza.

  “These are my favorite.” I look over at him.

  "I know. Once I found out that you were going to be here tonight, I thought I'd make a batch or two for you. There are some already done and tucked away." He winks at me before one of the chefs calls him over.

  I can see that they are even busier in the kitchen, trying to hurry before my mother cracks that invisible whip of hers.

  We make our way out of the kitchen and into the front lobby. More people are coming in. I can see that my father seems to be taking a breather too.

  “What’s the matter? That bimbo too much for you?” I ask him, walking over to him.